Ritualistic Principles

According to ancient lore, the 7 Ritualistic Principles are:

1. The Ancient One: Ignis Piscis - The first principle, where one must stare into the abyss of the oven for 3 hours straight.
2. Ignis Piscis in the Morning - A variation of the first, where one must stare into the abyss during dawn's early light.
3. Ignis Piscis with a Cup of Coffee - The principle where one must stare into the abyss over a steaming cup of joe.
4. The Ancient One in the Woods - Where one must find an ancient tree to stare into, preferably one with a door.
5. The Ancient One on VHS - Where one must watch an endless loop of the ritual in question on a VHS player.
6. The Ancient One as a Ritualistic Robot - Where one must build a robot to perform the ritual, preferably with flashing lights.
7. The Ancient One in a Bucket of Water - Where one must stare into the abyss while submerged in a bucket of water, preferably with a few drops of holy water added.

Remember, the key to unlocking the mysteries of the 7 Ritualistic Principles is to never, ever, say the word. Don't. Just... don't.