Ares' Powers: Because You Clearly Need Help
Here's a list of the god of war's powers, because you clearly can't even manage your own life:
- Fireballs of Fury: Because who needs a toaster when you can just summon flames?
- Rail of Anarchy: Because traffic jams are the real enemy
- Warped Space-Time Continuum: Because who needs a functioning calendar when you can just make time stand still?
- Telekinesis: Because folding laundry is so overrated
Need more powers? We have Ares' Powers: Advanced
Disclaimer: Ares is not actually responsible for your poor life choices