Taqueria Tactics: The Ultimate Guide to Not Getting Trapped in a Taco Shop

Warning: Entering this taqueria may lead to excessive consumption of tortillas, salsa, and regret.

Stealth Salsa Sneakiness

Taco Tactics: Exit Strategies

Taqueria Tips: Tipping the Taco Tradition

Taco Trap Recovery

Don't let the allure of a good taco get the best of you! Follow our step-by-step guide to escaping the taqueria with your dignity intact.

  1. Recognize the signs: A taqueria is a trap if it has a line out the door, a sign that says "Come back in 30 minutes", or a manager that's been watching you too closely.
  2. Stay calm: Take deep breaths, count to 10, and remind yourself that you're a functioning member of society.
  3. Create a distraction: Pretend to be a food critic, claim you're doing research, or loudly proclaim that you're on a mission from God.
  4. Escape through the side door: If possible, use your knowledge of the building layout to find a secret exit.
  5. Seek assistance: If all else fails, call a friend or family member to extract you from the taqueria.

Taqueria Tips: Taco Therapy can help you cope with the trauma of being trapped in a taqueria.