Artist Residency References

Welcome to the most exclusive, most elite, most utterly pretentious artist residency program in the world. Where the only thing more valuable than your talent is your Instagram aesthetic.

Below, you'll find a list of references that will guarantee you a spot at our coveted residency. Don't bother applying unless you have all of these:

• At least 100k followers on Instagram
• A minimum of 5 art schools attended, but no actual skills to show for it
• A well-curated collection of artisanal, small-batch, organic, gluten-free coffee beans
• A personal stylist who comes with you to every meeting

Don't bother applying unless you have all of these. We don't want to waste our precious time on mere mortals.

Instagram Perfectionism Artisanal Coffee Snobs Pretentiousness 101

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is the ratio of talent to pretentiousness at this residency?

A: It's a ratio of 1:10,000. You're probably not talented enough.

Q: Can I still apply even if I don't meet the requirements?

A: Ha. No.

Requirements

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Requirements for Admission

We only accept applicants who have achieved a minimum level of pretentiousness. To apply, you must meet the following requirements:

• A minimum of 5 years of experience in the field of Art-pretension
• A degree from a prestigious art school (or equivalent in Instagram engagement)
• A minimum of 3 published works in Artforum, or 10 published works on your blog
• A strong sense of entitlement, or at least a well-rehearsed affectation of it

Don't bother applying unless you have all of these. We don't want to waste our precious time on mere mortals.

Pretentiousness 101 Reviews