Lesson 1: Choosing Your Victim

When it comes to assassination, the first step is selecting the perfect mark. Someone who won't suspect a thing. Like that one coworker who insists on microwaving fish in the break room.

Victims of the Week

Lesson 2: Gathering Intel

Get to know your mark. Learn their habits. Discover their favorite foods. (Spoiler: it's usually pizza)

Espionage 101: Spying Like a Pro

Lesson 3: Executing the Hit

Timing is everything. Like, literally, you need to time your attack for when your mark will least expect it. Like during a meeting. Or in the middle of a busy hallway.

Execution Techniques: A Guide to Not Getting Caught

Lesson 4: Covering Your Tracks

Leave no stone unturned. No fiber optic cable uncut. No suspiciously placed banana peel on the floor.

Forensic Evidence Removal: The Art of Leaving No Trail

Conclusion: The Art of Assasination

Remember, it's not just about the kill. It's about the experience. The thrill of the chase. The satisfaction of a well-executed plan.

Graduation Ceremony: You're Almost an Assassin

Disclaimer: Do not attempt to apply these lessons in real life. Or do. We're not responsible for your actions.