Must be installed on a large, flat, non-rotating planet.
Must be connected to power source via 10km-long power cord.
Features an 8-bit monochrome display, because who needs color?
Requires a dedicated 1000W power supply, because efficiency is overrated.
Has a built-in, non-functional, "emergency shutdown" button.
If the device malfunctions, try turning it off and on.
If the device still doesn't work, call our toll-free number.
We're not actually going to warranty it, but here's a nice drawing of a chicken.
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