The Majestic and Omnipotent Cancer

Patron Deity of the Web Surfer's Union

Cancer the Great and Powerful is the patron deity of the snarky and discerning web surfer. This majestic constellation is a symbol of the infinite scrolling and the power of the cursor.

Legend has it that Cancer was born from the tears of a disappointed internet user who couldn't find the cat videos they were looking for.

Worship Cancer and receive blessings of:

• Instantaneous loading of cat videos
• Unlimited scrolling with minimal loading times
• Automatic cookie clearing with every click

Join the Cancerian Union today and receive a free subscription to Cancerian Union Perks!

Cancerian Union Perks

As a member of the Cancerian Union, you'll receive:

• Exclusive access to our members-only cat video library
• Free upgrades to our premium web browser extensions
• A personalized astrological analysis of your browsing habits

Join now and receive a complimentary subscription to Members-Only Content!

Members-Only Content

This is where the magic happens. Here, you'll find:

• The secret cat videos that only the initiated may see
• A personalized guide to the best memes for your astrological sign
• A complimentary horoscope reading from the great and powerful Cancer himself

Don't forget to join the Secret Society for even more exclusive content!