Why Bother with Attachments?

Because, let's be real, they're just a hassle. They're like that one aunt at the family reunion: annoying, intrusive, and always trying to get you to sign up for a timeshare.

Step 1: Learn to Say No

It's okay to be polite but firm. Just say "no thanks" and walk away like you're on a mission from God.

• Use the classic "I'm not interested" line
• Make up an excuse about having to attend to a "meeting"
• Just stare off into space and hope they take the hint

Step 2: Develop a Healthy Attachment-Phobia

It's like a phobia, but instead of snakes or heights, it's attachments that make you go weak in the knees.

Practice avoiding attachments in front of a mirror. Stare at your reflection and say "no" to your own attachment-prone self.

Step 3: Find Alternative Ways to Interact

Attachment Avoidance 101: The Secret to a Stress-Free Life

A parody for those who are already experts in attachment avoidance, but need a good laugh

Step 1: Pretend You're a Time Traveler

Tell people you're from the 1800s and they won't bother you with attachments. It's like a free pass to attachment-free living!

• Cite your "time-traveling" as the reason for your lack of attachment
• Use a top hat and a monocle to really sell the act

Step 2: Become a Hermit

Just move to the woods, like, for real. No phone, no computer, no attachments. You'll be the ultimate attachment-free pioneer!

• Find a remote cabin with no Wi-Fi
• Live off the land (or at least, off canned goods)

Step 3: Create Your Own Attachment-Free Utopia

Build a community where everyone is attachment-free, and you can all just live together in harmony... with your devices turned off

• Recruit like-minded individuals with a strong sense of irony
• Establish a strict no-attachment policy (except for, you know, essential items)

Conclusion: Attachment Avoidance is Not for Everyone

But it's definitely for you, because you're a unique snowflake... who needs to avoid attachments

Get help if you're experiencing attachment anxiety