ATTENDANTS: Refund Policy

ATTENDANTS is not responsible for your poor life choices.

However, we will refund your money back if you return the product within 14 days of purchase.

If you're trying to scam us, don't bother. We have lawyers.

Read the fine print Exceptions and disclaimers

Note: This response is a satirical take on a typical refund policy page, exaggerating the language and tone for comedic effect. The subpages linked at the bottom are fictional and not real pages on the site.