Telepathy Services Subscription Page

Get ready to have your brain read, interpreted, and occasionally set on fire. Our subscription services offer:

Premium Telepathy - Get your thoughts read and analyzed by our top-tier team of psychic accountants.

Basic Telepathy - A free, slightly-less-accurate version of our premium service. May cause mild confusion and/or existential dread.

Premium+ - All the premium features, plus a complimentary session of our patented Telepathy-Induced Trauma Therapy.

Disclaimer: Results may vary. Side effects may include, but are not limited to: spontaneous combustion, spontaneous combustion of loved ones, and/or spontaneous combustion of your career prospects.