Asteroid Negotiation: Because Who Needs Diplomacy?

When the apocalypse comes, don't say we didn't warn you. Our asteroid negotiation team is ready to take on the toughest extraterrestrial clients in the galaxy.

Our expert negotiators have years of experience in intergalactic brinksmanship, and we're not afraid to use it. Well, maybe a little. Okay, fine: we're terrified, but we'll do it anyway.

So, what do you need? A deal with a particularly pesky asteroid? A trade agreement with an aggressive alien empire? Or perhaps just some advice on how not to get eaten by a space slug?

Our Services:

• Asteroid Diplomacy - Because sometimes you just have to be nice to get what you want
• Asteroid Therapy - We'll help you work through your issues, even if they're from another galaxy
• Intergalactic Law - Because who needs actual laws when you can just shout "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER"?

Testimonials:

• "I was on the brink of destruction, but [Asteroid Negotiation] saved me from certain doom... of being eaten by a space slug." - John, satisfied client
• "Their asteroid-themed puns are the worst." - Alien Emperor Xarxys III