How to Avoid Social Media Like the Plague

Ghosting Your Profile: The Art of Disappearing Act

Step 1: Delete your account.

Step 2: Move to a remote cabin in the woods.

Step 3: Refuse to acknowledge the existence of the internet.

Or, you know, just set your account to private, and pretend you're not there.

Pretending Not to Be There: The Social Media Equivalent of a Jedi Mind Trick

Pretending Not to Be There: The Social Media Equivalent of a Jedi Mind Trick

Step 1: Post a bunch of cryptic, vaguely existential messages.

Step 2: Only respond to messages with ambiguous emojis.

Step 3: Deny the truth when asked to explain what's going on.

Creating a Social Media Doppelganger: The Ultimate Red Herring

Creating a Social Media Doppelganger: The Ultimate Red Herring

Step 1: Create a fake account with a fake name and fake profile picture.

Step 2: Post inane, attention-seeking updates.

Step 3: Make everyone think you're going crazy, and then just stop.