Because, honestly, who needs proper grammar, right?
Instead of saying "I have two cats," try "I have cat's." It's more fun to say, we swear.
Example: "I have cat's and cat's and cat's, and I'm still not done counting, I swear."
Learn more about Double Negative TipsJust say it, don't explain it. Who cares about context?
Example: "I'm going to get a sandwich." No need to say "I am going to obtain a edible, carbohydrate-based product."
Find more ways to be a snarky writerBecause, seriously, who needs subtlety?
Example: "I'M GOING TO GET A NEW CAT, AND IT'S GOING TO BE THE BEST CAT EVER."
Learn about the art of making your writing look like it was done by a toddler