Ballet Protocol 101

A Crash Course in Pointe and Puns

Ballet Protocol 101 - Level 1: En Pointe Learn the basics of Ballet Protocol 101, including en pointe, demi-plié, and how to tell if your instructor is secretly a robot. Warning: this level is not for the faint of heart (or feet).
Ballet Protocol 101 - Level 2: De Plié and Other Fancy Footwork Master the art of de plié, and learn other advanced footwork techniques, including the dreaded 'ballet-astrophic' jump. Don't get caught in the studio, or your instructor might turn you into a statue.
Ballet Protocol 101 - Level 3: Advanced Sarcasm and Eye-Contact Learn how to convey disdain and annoyance through the subtle art of balletic eye-contact. Warning: excessive use of eye-contact may lead to permanent emotional scarring.
Ballet Protocol 101 - Level 4: Advanced Sarcasm and Physical Comedy Master the art of combining balletic eye-contact with physical comedy, including pratfalls and prat-falls. Don't try this at home, or you may end up with a face full of face-plant.
Ballet Protocol 101 - Level 5: Advanced Sarcasm and Somatic Learn how to use advanced sarcasm to sublimate your somatic awareness, and become a master of the balletic arts. Side effects may include: loss of humor, loss of friends, and loss of limbs (due to excessive eye-rolling).
Ballet Protocol 101 - Level 6: Advanced Sarcasm and Physical Comedy Master the art of using advanced sarcasm to physically sublimate your dance moves, and become a true virtuoso. Don't try this at home, or you may end up with a face full of face-plant, and a reputation as a balletic buffoon.
Ballet Protocol 101 - Level 7: The Art of Not Caring (anymore) Learn how to cultivate a healthy sense of apathy towards the art of ballet, and become a true master of the balletic arts. Side effects may include: loss of interest, loss of passion, and loss of limbs (due to excessive boredom).
Next Level: Advanced Balletic Arts