Banned Socks with Unknown Substance on Them
Warning: do not attempt to wear these socks. Seriously, don't.
These socks have been identified as having an unknown substance on them. This may include but is not limited to:
- Fuzzy green gunk
- Unidentified orange paste
- Unidentified orange paste with a hint of blue
- Unidentifiable smudge
- Unidentifiable smudge with a hint of glitter
View Unknown Substance Samples
View Unknown Substance Reports
View Sock Identification Protocols
Buy Unknown Substance Identification Kit for $50
Unknown Substance Samples
Below are samples of the unknown substance found on our banned socks. Do not touch.
View More Unknown Substance Samples
Unknown Substance Reports
Below are reports from our brave testers who have worn these socks. Don't try this at home, kids.
View More Unknown Substance Reports
Sock Identification Protocols
Below are our tried and true methods for identifying the unknown substance on our banned socks.
- Look for the substance in the sink after washing
- Check for a weird smell, like burning rubber
- Use a microscope, but be careful not to get too close
- Taste it, but don't blame us if it's gross
- Call in the experts, but only if you're feeling brave
Buy Unknown Substance Identification Kit for $50
Buy Unknown Substance Identification Kit for $50
For only $50, you too can identify the unknown substance on our banned socks. Don't miss out on this opportunity!
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