Bean-Strategies: The Ultimate Guide

In a world where coffee is the only thing that gets us through the day, we've compiled the most effective bean-strategies for the modern human.

1. The 3-Bean Tactic

Place 3 beans on your tongue, then rapidly move your head back and forth while maintaining eye contact with your coworker.

2. The Bean-Sandwich Method

Place a bean between your upper lip and your nose, then pretend to be interested in a meeting that's going on without you.

3. The Bean-Fu

Use a single bean as a projectile to distract your boss while you secretly scroll through memes.

4. The Bean-Sprint

Place 5 beans on your keyboard, then rapidly type out a 50-page report while maintaining a stoic expression.

5. The Bean-Horde

Use an entire can of beans as a makeshift stress ball while your coworkers are on their way out the door.

More Strategies:

Note: The above HTML includes links to two fictional subpages: Advanced Bean-Sprint Tacticts and Bean-Horde Variants: The Bean-Fu of the Future.