Welcome to the most comprehensive guide on being utterly useless. Here, you'll find tips, tricks, and excuses for doing nothing productive.
Learn more about how to miss the mark in every situation.
Discover the art of dodging deadlines and commitments with ease.
Find inspiration for the perfect excuse to get out of any obligation.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try:
Embody the true spirit of an Absentee: being completely, utterly, and fantastically useless.