Black Hole Safety Tips (Because You're Probably Going to Get Swallowed Anyway)

Welcome to Black Hole Safety Tips, where we'll guide you through the process of not getting vaporized.

1. Avoid Looking at Your Life Insurance Policy - It'll only depress you.
2. Don't Try to Surf the Event Horizon - Trust us, it's a bad idea.
3. Harness the Power of Zero-Point Energy (But Not Too Much) - We're not saying it's possible, but it's worth a shot.