BLACK HOLE ALERTS

Get ready, space traveler, for the cosmic crisis line that is about to disrupt your galaxy.

Latest Alerts:

• Event Horizon Garbage Collection Alert: 42 million tons of cosmic trash detected in the vicinity of Cygnus X-1
• Quantum Fluctuation Food Panic: Inexplicable shortage of quasiparticles detected in the vicinity of the Crab Nebula
• Wormhole Travel Bulletin: Discounted space travel deals available on select routes through the Oort Cloud