Did you know that boiled beans are not actually a thing? Like, who thought that was a good idea?
Apparently, someone out there thought, "Hey, we'll just take some delicious, tender beans and boil them to death!" And then they were like, "No, no, no, we'll just add some garlic and herbs, that'll make it taste better!"
But seriously, have you ever tried to cook dried beans from scratch? It's a real adventure. First, you have to soak them overnight, then you have to boil them for like, 45 minutes, and then you have to mash them up with some salt and pepper. And for what? So you can eat them with some boring old rice or salad. Boiled beans are a real treat, folks.
But wait, it gets worse. There's a whole subpage dedicated to the art of Bean Fails where you can read about all the times boiled beans have gone wrong. It's a real laugh riot.
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