Welcome to Subpage 3: The Bland Vegetable Saga

Where the vegetables are so unremarkable, you'll forget you even looked.

Our story begins with a humble head of lettuce. Not just any head of lettuce, mind you. This was no Romaine, no Buttercrunch, no Buttercrunch's lesser cousin, Iceberg. No, this was plain, unadulterated, boring old lettuce.

It was a drab, greyish-green color, with leaves that seemed to wilt even in the presence of water. Our hero, a particularly uninspired carrot, was smitten with this bland vegetable.

He spent his days wandering the produce stand, searching for something, anything, to liven up his dull existence. But nothing seemed to capture his attention. The apples were too crunchy, the tomatoes too juicy, the bell peppers too... well, too bell-peppery.

Read on to find out about our hero's crumby love affair with a pear. Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, visit the Bland Vegetable Society, where our hero meets the love of his life (or not).