Here be the secrets of the most elite salad enthusiasts in the land. Only those who have proven their worthiness by consuming a whole jar of mayonnaise in one sitting may pass.
Warning: excessive salad consumption may lead to:
- Vegetable-fueled delusions of grandeur
- Uncontrollable urges to wear a toga
- Spontaneous combustion of the taste buds
Remember: the true test of a salad is not the taste, but the quantity of mayonnaise consumed.
Side effects of joining our secret society may include:
- Increased risk of salad-fueled flatulence
- Heightened sense of self-importance
Don't say we didn't warn you.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.