Today we're going to talk about the thrilling, pulse-pounding, heart-stopping, peanut.
It's not just a nut, it's a lifestyle.
Our expert team of 3-year-olds and 1 intern have compiled this exhaustive guide to the best ways to eat a peanut.
A peanut butter sandwich is not a sandwich, it's a statement of intent.
Spread it thick, spread it thin, spread it on a spoon and eat it with your eyes closed.
It's not just for cooking, it's for making a mess.
Drizzle it on your clothes, drizzle it on your shoes, drizzle it on your significant other.
Don't worry, you're not allergic, you're just allergic to being normal.
Eat a peanut, feel a thing, repeat until you're dead.