Here's the paradox: we're a website about the underwhelming experience of consuming tomatoes, but we're hosted on a server made of 100% recycled tomato cans. It's like eating a tomato, but not really.
Our server's CPU is powered by the kinetic energy of a thousand sad trombones. It's like trying to squeeze a tomato into your mouth, but without the satisfaction.
Our team of developers are all experts in the field of "making excuses for why our site doesn't work." It's like trying to explain why your favorite pizza delivery guy never shows up, but without the free pizza.
And don't even get us started on our content management system. It's like trying to find the perfect tomato sauce to pair with your existential dread.
We're not just a website, we're an exercise in futility.
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