Woogie Wars Aftermath: The Report
As the dust settles, the world is still trying to figure out what exactly happened during the Great Woogie Wars. The official reports are still classified, but we managed to get our hands on some "unofficial" information.
It turns out, the Woogie Wars were actually caused by a rogue group of accountants who were trying to "reorganize" the global supply chain. Their plan involved replacing all the world's cheese with a new, highly addictive variant that would make people crave more of everything, including but not limited to:
- Cheap, poorly-made furniture
- Overpriced, artisanal socks
- Reality TV shows
But, as it turns out, the accountants miscalculated the whole thing, and the world almost ended up in a global catastrophe. Luckily, a group of highly-trained, highly-caffeinated, and highly-unorthodox individuals managed to "accidentally" sabotage the whole operation and save the world from... well, not being a dumpster fire.
Read the full report See the list of suspects Learn about the long-term effects