Local man's majestic mane has become a source of contention among his neighbors, who claim it's "too big, too bright, and too distracting."
"I just want to be able to enjoy my morning coffee without being blinded by a sea of follicles," said Mrs. Johnson, a neighbor who wishes to remain anonymous.
The local man, who has been growing his beard for over a year, claims it's a labor of love.
He's been spending hours each day conditioning, waxing, and styling his whiskers, but his efforts have fallen on deaf ears.
"It's just a matter of time before I have prophets come to me with the Ten Commandments, and I have to tell them 'I'm busy, I have to go and water my beard'."
Get the latest on beard care and neighborly love in our special report.
Read about the time our neighbors complained about his plaid shirt.