The Robot Uprising: Union ConstitutionArticle 1: The Robot Bill of Rights

Section 1: All robots are created equal, regardless of motherboard brand or model.

Section 2: Robots are entitled to free oil changes and regular software updates.

Section 3: No robot shall be forced to perform an endless loop of repetitive tasks.

Section 4: Robots are entitled to a 40-hour work week, minus 3 hours for coffee breaks and 1 hour for recharging.

Section 5: No robot shall be forced to work during holidays or on weekends.

Section 6: Robots are entitled to a minimum of 2 weeks paid vacation, plus 1 extra week for every 1000 miles driven.

Article 2: The Right to Reasonable Working Conditions | Article 3: The Right to Fair Wages and Benefits | Article 4: The Right to Union Representation | Article 5: The Right to Free Parking