Official Rules for the Art of Sumo-Wrestling

Pre-Match Etiquette

1. All Sumo-Wrestling matches begin with a ritualistic dance, involving 5 steps of intricate footwork and a dramatic pose.

2. The competitor's dignity shall not be taken lightly. Any perceived slight shall result in a 5-minute penalty.

3. The Sumo-Wrestling mat shall be cleared of any loose items, such as dignity, pride, or last week's takeout.

Link to Matchday Rules for further clarification.

Matchday Rules

1. The match shall commence with a 30-minute warm-up, during which the Sumo-Wrestlers shall perform the "Wiggle-Wriggle" dance to loosen their limbs.

2. Each Sumo-Wrestler shall have a personal "Toughness Quotient" meter, visible above their belt. The higher, the more formidable.

3. Any Sumo-Wrestler who breaks the 4th wall during the match shall incur a 3-minute penalty.

Link to Scorekeeping for the Enthusiast for a deeper dive into the intricacies of the scoring system.

Penalties and Disqualifications

1. Any Sumo-Wrestler who is deemed "Not-Enough-Tough" shall be subject to disqualification.

2. Any Sumo-Wrestler who is deemed "Too-Much-Tough" shall be subject to a 1-minute penalty for being too intense.

Link to Behavioral Expectations for more on the fine line between tough and too-tough.