Mental Hacking Services

Because Your Brain is Like a Windows 95

We offer a range of services designed to optimize your brain's performance, because let's be real, it's not like you have better things to do than reboot your own mind.

• Cerebral Boosters: Because Your Brain Needs a Little Kick in the Pants
• Brainwave Therapy: Because Your Brain is a Fickle Mistress
• Mental Overloads: Because You Clearly Need a Hand

Don't worry, our services are completely non-invasive and only slightly soul-crushing.