Technique 6: Intensive Mental Juggling Act

Warning: this technique is not for the faint of heart. It's like attempting to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded while being attacked by a swarm of bees.

Step 1: Focus on 37 different things at once

Divide your attention into 37 equal parts, like a human-shaped Swiss Army knife. This will allow you to juggle 37 different thoughts, ideas, and snack options simultaneously.

Example tasks:

• Solving world hunger
• Plotting the perfect meme
• Calculating pi to 500 digits
• Deciding what to eat for breakfast

Step 2: Visualize the Entirety of Human Knowledge

Imagine a giant, glowing library with 37 trillion volumes. Each book represents a piece of information that you must comprehend instantly.

Example mental images:

• A giant globe with swirling tornadoes of knowledge
• Infinity loops of mathematical equations
• A library made entirely of edible, delicious-looking books
• A giant brain made of pulsing, neon lights

Side Effects:

Side effects may include:

• Spontaneous combustion of unrelated thoughts
• Uncontrollable laughter
• Instantaneous understanding of quantum physics
• Irreversible loss of sanity

Do not try this at home. Seriously, do not try this at home.