Brain Fertilizer 3000: Warranty Information

Congratulations on purchasing the most advanced brain-fertilizing technology in the galaxy!

This device is guaranteed to:

• fertilize your brain with a 3000x increase in cognitive function
• improve your mood by 99.99%
• turn your enemies into kittens
• give you the ability to talk to animals, but only if you really try

However, please note that our warranty does not cover:

• Any attempts to use the device as a hair dryer
• Any damage caused by spontaneous brain explosions
• Any side effects from excessive use of the device's disco light feature

Terms of Service, Disclaimers, and FAQs are available upon request.

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