Actual Brain Fertilizing Side Effects

Warning: Actual Brain Fertilizing may cause:

• Uncontrollable urges to listen to elevator music
• Involuntary outbreaks of spontaneous poetry
• Sudden and intense feelings of existential dread
• Unexplained urges to eat only organic, gluten-free, artisanal foods
• Increased risk of becoming convinced the government is watching you

Side effects may persist even after stopping use.