Brainwave 101: Because Who Needs Functionality, Anyway?

Welcome, future non-contributors to society! This is the ultimate guide to achieving true mastery of the art of doing absolutely nothing. With these expertly crafted lessons, you'll be well on your way to becoming a master of the couch, a virtuoso of video games, and a sultan of snacks.

Lesson 1: The Fundamentals of Procrastination

Learn the ancient art of putting off until tomorrow what you can do today. This lesson covers the basics of prioritizing Netflix over productivity and mastering the art of 'I'll get to it eventually.'

Lesson 2: The Science of Binge-Watching

Discover the hidden secrets behind the perfect binge-watching strategy. Learn how to mainline your favorite shows, optimize your snack-to-binge ratio, and master the art of pretending you're 'researching' when your mom calls.