Bread Won-der-ful: The Secret Ingredients

Warning: The following list may cause addiction, spontaneous singing, and/or extreme cravings for warm, crusty bread. Prolonged consumption of the following ingredients may result in irreversible damage to your diet, relationships, or both.

Primary Ingredients:

• Flour of Doom
• Breadwinner Yeast (Patent Pending)
• Butter, the Silent Killer (contains 80% fat)
• Salt, the Tears of the Bread Gods
• Water, the Essence of Life (also contains 90% of the daily recommended intake of boredom)

And now, for the secret ingredients, hidden from the prying eyes of the health-conscious and the faint of heart:

Secret Ingredients:

• Special Sauce (contains a hint of despair and regret)
• Extra Cheese, Because Why Not?
• Hidden Honey, the Sweet Lie

Side effects may include:

• Clogged arteries
• Weight gain
• Irreversible addiction
• Spontaneous singing of 'That's Amore' by Luciano Pavarotti