Rule 1: Do Not Discuss Your Personal Life
It's not that we're not interested, it's just that we're all trying to survive this existential crisis called work.
- Keep it to yourself, or you'll be forced to reorganize the break room
- Or worse, you'll have to reorganize the entire department
Continue to Rule 2
Rule 2: No Eating at the Desk
We're not your personal chef or therapist. We're just trying to make it through the day without getting fired.
- Take it outside, or at least to a designated eating area
- Don't make us watch, we have PTSD
Continue to Rule 3
Rule 3: Do Not Micromanage the Coffee Machine
We're not your coffee overlords, so don't treat us like we're your personal latte artists.
- Don't adjust the settings, just press the button
- We're trying to survive on fumes and stale coffee
Continue to Rule 4