Brian the Bacon Lover's Guide to the Perfect BLT

Step 1: Gather Ingredients

Acquire the crispiest bacon, the plumpest tomatoes, and the most refreshing lettuce you can find. Don't even think about using that wilted crap from the supermarket.

Brian's Tips and Tricks:

• Don't be stingy with the bacon. Use at least 5 strips per sandwich.
• Make sure your lettuce is properly hydrated. You can't just slap it in there like a limp noodle.
• Tomatoes should be cut into precise 1.5-inch squares. Anything larger and you're just a slob.