Email 3: Unreliability

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Another one of our esteemed emails has failed to deliver. We're not sure what's wrong, but it's probably your fault.

Try sending it again, or maybe just send us a postcard. We'll get back to you when we feel like it.

Or, you know, just call your friend who still uses a flip phone and ask them to hand-deliver it. That's probably the best way to go.