Broth Prophetic Forecasts

Wherein lies the future, and it's not good.

As per our esteemed sources, the apocalypse is imminent. Like, seriously imminent. Like, 'you're-going-to-need-to-buy-more-beans' imminent.

But fear not, dear reader, for we have prepared for you the Broth Prophetic Forecasts, a series of scintillating and utterly useless predictions, because, let's face it, the end is nigh.

Here's what the Broth Oracle has decreed:

Next Tuesday, the toaster will jam. Don't worry, it's just a sign that the fabric of space-time is unraveling.
By the end of the week, the cat will be plotting against you. Be on the lookout for suspiciously placed hairballs.
And on Sunday, the world will end. Just kidding! (Or are we?)

Stay tuned for more of these thrilling forecasts, because, honestly, who needs a functioning society when you have Broth?

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You