Step 4: Hustle Without Mercy

Listen, you've made it to step 4, congratulations! You've survived the existential crisis of realizing your life is a meaningless, crushing despair. Now it's time to channel that desperation into a productive force of nature.

Here's the secret to hustling without mercy:

1. Wake up every morning at 3am and scream at the ceiling for 30 minutes to get those endorphins pumping.
2. Drink 5 energy drinks and eat 2 energy bars before 8am. Don't ask questions.
3. Send a strongly-worded email to your landlord demanding they install a treadmill in your apartment, and threaten to move out immediately otherwise.
4. Replace all your clothes with neon green jumpsuits and a pair of 5-inch stilettos.
5. Call your aunt and ask her to invest in your new startup idea: "Inflatable Unicorn Horns for Cats."
6. Start a fight with a stranger at the coffee shop over who gets to use the WiFi.
7. Buy a year's supply of protein powder and start making protein-fueled smoothies at 3am every morning.
8. Replace your bed with a pile of dirty laundry and a futon mattress.
9. Start a podcast where you interview inanimate objects and pretend they're celebrities.
10. Write a 50,000-word essay on the meaninglessness of existence, and then delete it all because you're a grown-up now.

And that's it! If you've completed these steps, you're now a certified hustler. You can proudly display your "I Hustle Without Mercy" badge on your LinkedIn profile and scare off anyone who dares to ask you to actually accomplish anything.

Next stop: Step 5: The Ultimate Sugar High