After weeks of debugging, the IT department has finally admitted that the problem lies in the realm of the coffee machine's firmware.
A team of experts has been assembled to tackle this behemoth of a bug, armed with nothing but determination, a few stale donuts, and a can of "Fix-It" spray.
We're making progress, but it's slow going: the coffee machine is now spewing forth a delightful mix of lukewarm water and last week's coffee grounds.
Next Phase: Phase 5 | Phase 6: Phase 6 is Where We Part with Our Dignity