Emergency Contacts for the Clueless

For when you've managed to get yourself into a situation that's just a little too hot to handle

Don't worry, we've got you covered! Here are the emergency contacts you'll need to get out of the mess you've made:

• Your Local Psychic Readings
• Health Insurance for the Uninsured
• Bail Bond Agents for the Truly Desperate
• Lost Socks Retrieval Services

And, of course, for when all else fails, you can always call:

• 9-1-1 Operator: 'I've made a mess, can you please come over and clean it up?'

Remember, we're all about helping you avoid getting into these kinds of sticky situations in the first place. But, when all else fails, we've got your back.