Departmental Directives: Because Who Needs Common Sense, Anyway?

Subsection A: The Art of Procrastination

In accordance with Section 3, Subsection 7 of the Official Bureaucratic Handbook, all employees are hereby directed to spend at least 2 hours each day browsing cat videos.

This is not a suggestion. This is a directive.

Subsection B: The Science of Doing the Bare Minimum

As outlined in Subsection 1, Article 2 of the Bureaucratic Guide to Doing the Bare Minimum, all tasks shall be completed with the speed and efficiency of a sloth on valium.

This is a matter of grave importance. Do not attempt to actually accomplish anything.

Standard Operating Procedures: Because Who Needs to Follow the Rules, Anyway?

Employee Handbook: A Comprehensive Guide to Getting Away with It