The Bureaucratic Speak Cheat Sheet: Unpacking the Mysteries of Official Jargon

Here's a list of key phrases to confuse and bewilder your colleagues, family, and friends.

1. Clarifying the Meaning of Clarifying the Meaning

A classic. A staple of bureaucratic doublespeak.

• Meaning: "I don't know, but I'll say it's complicated."
• Usage: "The new policy, uh, clarifies the existing policy, which, you see, was, uh, clarified previously."

2. The Art of Say-Doing-No-Thing

Master the art of doing nothing, while still making it sound like you're doing something.

• Meaning: "I'm, uh, researching the situation."
• Usage: "I'm, uh, researching the, uh, situation, which, as you know, requires a, uh, significant investment of time."

3. The Spectrum of Ambiguity

Confound, confuse, and obfuscate your way to greatness!

• Meaning: "I'll, uh, need to, uh, review the, uh, details."
• Usage: "I'll, uh, need to, uh, review the, uh, details, which, as you know, are, uh, complicated."

More Advanced Bureaucratic Speak for the discerning reader.