Stop. Trying. So. Hard.

Bureaucratic Guidance for the Utterly Inept

You've tried, and failed. Miserably.

Step 1: Acknowledge Failure

Look in the mirror. Really look. See the tears, the despair, the faint outline of last night's pizza on your shirt? That's you.

Good. You're here.

Step 2: Accept Help

We have experts. They're over there (they're really good at their jobs, we swear).

Step 3: Practice Self-Care

Take a break. Go outside. Do something that doesn't involve video games.