Top 10 Escalations

Welcome, weary bureaucrat, to the Bureaucracy Escalations page, where the most absurd, the most infuriating, and the most delightfully petty complaints are celebrated.

1. "My Form 27-B/6 was misplaced"

A classic.

Click here for more on the art of Form 27-B/6 misplacement.

2. "I was denied a coffee machine upgrade"

Apparently, our coffee machine is only for "official business use" and not for "personal, caffeine-fueled existential crises."

Click here for more on the intricacies of coffee machine upgrades.

3. "I was assigned a cubicle with a 'view' of the janitor's closet."

We're sorry, not sorry. You're lucky we didn't give you a view of the parking lot.

Click here for more on the art of cubicle reassignment.

4. "I was forced to take a 'motivational' seminar."

Because nothing says "motivation" like being trapped in a windowless room with a PowerPoint presentation that's 3 hours long.

Click here for more on the joys of mandatory motivation.

5. "My stapler was taken away as part of an 'inventory adjustment'."

It was just a "temporary relocation" to the "Bureaucratic Property Redistribution Unit." Don't worry, it'll be back.

Click here for more on the stapler situation.

6. "I was forced to attend a 'team-building' event."

Because nothing says "team-building" like being forced to eat a 'build-your-own-succulent' workshop.

Click here for more on the horrors of team-building.

7. "I was told to use 'correct' grammar and spelling."

We take pride in our grammatical and spelling prowess. After all, it's not like we're trying to confuse or intimidate.

Click here for more on the importance of proper punctuation.

8. "I was asked to 'reorganize' my desk."

We like to think of it as a 'reimagination of the workspace.'

Click here for more on the art of desk reorganization.

9. "I was forced to take a 'stress test'."

Because nothing says "relaxation" like being subjected to a 3-hour PowerPoint presentation on 'Effective Time Management.'

Click here for more on the joys of stress testing.

10. "I was told to 'syndicate' my work."

A classic.

Click here for more on the art of work syndication.

That's it for now, folks! Stay bureaucratic, and remember: if it's not in the manual, it's not in the manual.

Back to the Bureaucracy Main Page