A: It's a line of highly trained, highly paid, and highly underworked bureaucrats ready to assist you with your every need. Because, let's be real, you've probably been waiting for hours to see someone, and we're here to make that wait even longer.
A: Just show up, fill out the form, and we'll get to you... eventually. Don't worry, we'll get to you when we get to you. Priorities, people!
A: We offer the full gamut of bureaucratic services, including but not limited to: waiting in line, filling out forms, and staring at walls. It's a comprehensive service, really.
A: Ha! You think you're going to be satisfied with our services? Good luck with that. Our refund policy is... complicated. Let's just say it's like a Russian novel: long, involved, and likely to put you to sleep.
A: Representative? Ha! You're lucky if you get to see your caseworker for 5 minutes, let alone a representative. Don't worry, we'll get to you... eventually. Or maybe not. We're not really sure. Ask our automated answering machine for more information. Automated Answering Machine FAQ