Standardized Pencil Sharpeners: A Guide to Unyielding Efficiency

The Standardized Pencil Sharpeners Committee has decreed that all pencil sharpeners shall conform to a single, unyielding standard.

Size: 3.14 cm

Color: #ff0000

Shape: Rectangular with rounded edges (no corners allowed!)

Material: Durable, high-carbon steel (no flimsy plastic allowed!)

Designated Sharpener Operator (DSO) Certification Program: Mandatory for all users

Non-compliance will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Confiscation of sharpeners
• Re-education through mandatory attendance at Pencil Sharpening Re-education Camps
• Revocation of Pencil Sharpening Privileges (PSP)

Implementation Schedule Revision Committee Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)