Bureaucratic Decree 3456

By Order of the Ministry of Redundancy and Pointless Regulations, all citizens are hereby commanded to:

1. Fill out Form 27-B in triplicate for all non-essential purchases over $20.
2. Submit to regular, thorough inspections of their kitchen appliances at the behest of the Ministry.
3. Report any and all instances of spontaneous human combustion to the authorities.

Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to:

• Fines of up to $10,000.
• Community Service of up to 500 hours.
• Revocation of all previously earned sainthood points.