Step 1: Fill out form 27-B in triplicate. Don't bother asking why.
Step 2: Attend a mandatory seminar on "Effective Stapler Use."
Step 3: Learn to love the fluorescent lighting in the break room.
Step 4: Memorize the phone number of the IT department.
Step 5: Learn to type with your non-dominant hand while blindfolded.
Step 6: Participate in a group think-tank session on "Innovation and Disruption." (Just pretend you're a visionary.)
Step 7: Learn to love the smell of stale coffee and burnt microwaved lunches.
Step 8: Take online courses on "The Art of Apologizing to Clients."
And finally, step 9: Get promoted to Assistant Manager of the 5th Floor!
But don't worry, it's not like you'll be trapped in a soul-sucking corporate grind or anything.
Hyperlinks to other subpages:
Departmental Memos for the latest on office shenanigans.
Committee Meetings: A Guide to the Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing for tips on how to waste hours of your life.
Break Room Coffee Machine Troubleshooting for the most common issues.
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