| Bureaucratic Fee | Description |
|---|---|
| 5% of your monthly income for the privilege of doing business with us | Our fees for simply showing up to our office. |
| 10% of your annual profit for the pleasure of having us review your paperwork | A small price to pay for us to tell you that you're doing everything wrong. |
| 20% of your total assets for the luxury of having our lawyers review your contract | A tiny fraction of the cost of our lawyers' private jet. |